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-15-
She thought,
“This time. He’s so different.
I thought this would work.”
But every time she looked
In his eyes lately,
All she could see,
All she could hear,
All she could feel,
Was her father.
That’s what she thought
She wanted,
But now….
She had poured herself
Into his love,
Let it surround her,
Let it secure her,
But even more than the others,
It had imprisoned her.
It had reached deep inside of her,
It had made her his because
He had come to own
All her past,
All her pain,
And it imprisoned her.
It had reached the point
Of a fear all its own.
She had to leave-
She had to abandon this love-
She had to move on.
-16-
As the sun broke
The crest of the morning sky,
Its climb reflected off of the
Dust-spotted window pane.
Emily began
The cycle again.
Although this time,
An abortion had marred
The memory
And added to the weight
Of the guilt,
Of the pain,
Carried heavy over years and years,
Emily survived
On sacrifice-
So a little death,
A secret scar-
On top of all the weight
She bore,
What was it
But just a bit
Added to her
To her cycle of more.
She hadn’t told him.
When she “broke” it to him,
Only after she had rationalized,
“Listen, you know it wouldn’t
Have been good for us.
Not here.
Not now.
It isn’t you.
No one’s to blame.”
Although he forgave her,
Their love didn't remain
The same.
He knew she how she was.
He knew what she’d been through.
While he thought they could
Overcome whatever it was,
That needed to be understood,
Whatever it was
That needed
To be undone,
They could get through it.
It could be overcome.
Yet, he also knew,
How she was.
And the question
Was, "Not how much
She loved him,"
But “What kind of love,
Did they share?”
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