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-19-
“Dear,
My dear, dear love,
I’m so sorry. We have been
Through so much. And we have
Been so happy. But I can’t go on
Pretending I’m someone I’m not.
You know I love you. God knows
I do. I’m torn between myself
And the love I feel for you.
I can’t take the fight
Day in and day out.
I’m so afraid.
We have become
So much
A part of each other.
But how can I find you?
How can I find this love?
If I can’t find myself?
I’m so afraid….
I’ll call you…..
Love always,
Emily.”
Even now she really
Couldn’t say
What the truth was.
What he knew to be true.
What they had both known
For some time.
Her mysteries,
Her secrets,
Her fears,
Her guilt,
They were all
Part of a past
She really didn’t want
To find.
-20-
The struggle
Of all her abandoned times,
From the little girl
Hiding in the bedroom corner-
“Come on now honey.
Daddy’s gone. Mommy’s gone.
Come on.
Grandma and Emily
Will find the balloon man
Down by the park at Ocean Bay.”
He stood in t he door ajar-
He knew because of that day,
This day would always come.
He knew Emily,
She wouldn’t call.
She wouldn’t write.
She’d remain on the run.
The years they’d spent
Finding each other,
Only meant finding an end.
She was free now.
She was ‘untied.”
She didn’t have to confront
Him everyday,
Knowing what he knew.
She wore his love
Like a guilt-sore.
It was just another scar
She’d have to add to “more.”
He kicked the door.
It was over and there just
Wasn’t anything left anymore.
She was free,
Gone to continue on
A cycle
She really didn’t want to end.
He thought he could
Change her by
Being her lover,
More, being her friend.
But all the mysteries,
The guilts,
The episodes,
The truth's,
She didn’t and wouldn’t
Face them again.
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