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-33-
For a moment,
Her thoughts
Chanced back
To the year
When she was thirty-one,
More than twenty years ago-
A lover and a love,
She had such a hard time
To find the strength
To overcome.
Now,
She cried.
She sobbed.
Her body shook
With pain,
Not for an old man
Who had died,
But for what
She had killed
So many years ago
By simply
Running away.
“Now,
When I’m fifty-
When it doesn’t matter anymore....”
The abandoned
Little house-
The bedroom corner-
He grandmother-
Her mother’s body
Covered in a white sheet
On the floor-
“I’m just an old woman
Now.
And God!
Look at me!
What was I running from?
What was I running for?
Look at all this-
I don’t even care
Anymore!
Oh God,
Look at me.
An old lady,
Abandoned and alone!"
-34-
She wept alone,
“Daddy look
What you’ve done to me…”
She would abandon
The old house,
Travel down the coast.
Sell everything,
Even give some away.
She’d sell “his”
Mercedes,
Buy something small,
Journey back along
The ocean,
Through the little
Towns where it had all
Taken place.
She’d try to recal
A lost childhood.
Perhaps she could find
Some peace of mind?
Maybe there was a peace
In recovering even
The memories of
"That Love."
Of the times she tried
So hard,
For so many years,
To throw it away.
At fifty-two,
Perhaps she’d find
The woman she’d
Tried so hard to deny.
Perhaps,
There were still
Some things
In this life
She could recover
In time
To overcome
All those old fears,
And all those
Abandoned lines
She now wore and
Confronted
Each day in the mirror.
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